The Opium War, was one of the most humiliating thing that happened to China and it all started because of Lin Tse-hsü. He started thinking about it and decided he wanted to stop the trading of opium from the British and he also believed that trading was to benefit the country and the people instead of the opposite. Lin's belief was right, but what he did was wrong. He took it far and signed a lot of treaties and that is how he failed. Fortunately the last treaty he signed helped him and China but the damage was too high of a cost and they were to blame.
The reason of the whole war to start was because the British didn't stop the trade for some reason. They didn't want to stop the trading because they didn't want to close down the stores and places they grew Opium and the places they sold Opium. So they allied with the French and started the war which happened twice during the Qing Dynasty, which was the last dynasty in Chinese history because of other fails throughout history.
Please write a stronger lead (topic sentence) and check for spelling, etc. Let your argument build throughout your article.
ReplyDeletePlease try to focus more on your reasons why the Opium War was so humiliating for China. Build an argument as you go. This is supposed to be persuasive writing.
ReplyDeleteThis is better, but still needs some work. You should concentrate on sentence structure as you revise. You also should bolster your argument in places, as you don't sound confident that your interpretation of events is correct. Be bold!
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